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Sex Tips: Learn How to Satisfy Her Hunger

Posted in: Sex Tips | Dec 5, 2007 - 12:47:17 PM

What's the fastest way to breakfast with her, tomorrow? Dinner at your place, tonight.

We settled on the five easy pieces of my seduction meal plan--concoctions that would induce shock and awe, not yawning and sleep, but remain manageable for an amateur like me.

Remember when the onus was on women to impress men?

Me neither.
 
But apparently that was the case in the 1850s, when American writer Fanny Fern coined this phrase: The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. A lot has changed over the past 150 years.
 
I've always had a keen interest in cooking for women, often as a means to engage them sensually before, um, engaging them sensually. And according to a recent poll we conducted with 1,000 Cosmopolitan readers, my motive is well founded: 66 percent of women said they're more likely to have sex with a man after a home-cooked meal. But my gastronomic repertoire was, frankly, less than sexy, with dishes that would be better served in an army barracks than as a means of seduction.
 
After yet another prematurely sated date slipped into a food coma at my place, I decided to introduce new threads to my culinary web: romantic meals that women would find unexpected and visually arresting but not too pretentious or twee. So I enlisted the help of Valerie Broussard, a graduate of the Institute of Culinary Education, a personal chef, an accomplished food writer, and, oh yeah, a woman. She'd have an inside perspective on how to make a lasting impression on any female I'd lure back to my apartment.
 
We settled on the five easy pieces of my seduction meal plan--concoctions that would induce shock and awe, not yawning and sleep, but remain manageable for an amateur like me.
 
I'd follow that up with a seduction cooking exam: I would unleash the fruits of my learning on a string of hungry women over the next week.
 
Come and get it, ladies.
 
Getting Fresh with Valerie
 
Shopping with a chef is itself a sensual experience.
 
First at the Union Square farmer's market in Manhattan, then at the posh supermarket Citarella, where Valerie works as a demo coordinator, there was a lot of eyeballing, sniffing, feeling for firmness, and discussing what to do with this or that lump of plump flesh. The list of foods we worked from was malleable, according to what was ripe, what was juicy, what was peaking.
 
See, you almost can't avoid talking dirty about it all.
 
Back at Valerie's place on the Upper East Side, she instructed me in everything from how to chop quickly while keeping my fingers attached (grip the item with your fingertips tucked under at the first finger joint, like Bruce Lee's "eagle claw") to a technique called mise-en-place.
 
Like most of what she taught me, the reality was less scary than the term. Mise-en-place simply means "to put in place," or to have your ingredients chopped, prepped, and close at hand before you touch off the alchemy of cooking. Likewise, "deglaze" sounds fancy but simply means adding liquid to a sauté pan you've been cooking in and scraping up all the burned bits from the bottom.
 
We made and ate our way through an entire lexicon of food and romance. She even taught me how to immolate jungle fruit.
 
"You really think I should  present some poor girl with a huge, flaming banana?" I asked.
 
"Hmmm." She looked at me and grinned. "Too subtle?"
 
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